Rosie (daydreamdancer) wrote in ethandarling,

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I didn't sleep much last night. Too much is going on and I couldn't stop thinking. Sometimes I believe that I'm an insomniac. I never get enough sleep and when I do I still feel tired.

Since I couldn't sleep I got up and turned on the TV. This special was on about the 80's, so I watched it. God, I love the 80's. During those minutes of watching TV all of my troubles seem to float away. As a commercial came on reality hit me once again.

I am in love with a boy and I don't even know if he loves me back, my parents don't understand me, and my sister, whom I love more than anything, is now pregnant.

I turned off the TV and went back to my bed. I didn't know how to solve any of my problems and I knew that staying awake wouldn't help me solve them any faster. I still couldn't fall asleep.

At one point I drifted off and I had a dream. In this dream I could see Jeff, but I don't think he saw me. I kept screaming his name and trying to run to him, but he kept getting further and further away. Eventually he was gone and I woke up.

I wonder what that dream is supposed to mean. I guess can go find a dream dictionary somewhere and look it up. Maybe it'll have some answers for me. I'm so desperate right now that I'll try anything.

"Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody, this world's an ugly place, but your so beautiful to me."
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