When I got home tonight and layed down to think everything hit me at once.
And then the phone rang.
"Hello!" I screamed, praying that the voice on the other side of the phone was Noah's. But it wasn't. It was Jeff's. "I miss you," he said. He didn't know that tonight, all night, I didn't miss him.
I know what you're thinking, "it's not like you and Jeff are together". And I know we aren't. He's my best friend though, I tell him everything. I can't hide something this BIG from him.
I did though. I pretended that nothing was different about me. I didn't hint that I had just been kissed, only hours before, by an amazing guy. Or that I might be falling for him, even though it's too soon to tell.
I just told Jeff that I watched TV all night and how I was just about to go to bed. We didn't talk long because I told him I had to go to the bathroom. More lies. I hate lying to him. To anyone really. I need to think about what has happened tonight. This changes everything.
I think I'll go have a beer, or two, or three. Drinking eases the pain. The pain of not knowing what is going to happen next. The pain of knowing that from now on, things aren't going to be the same.