angry like the sun (elliotismygod) wrote in ethandarling,
angry like the sun

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For So Long

I know that I've been kind of lazy when it comes to updating. For awhile I was going to give up on this whole "journal" thing. Well, contrary to popular belief, I do have a life!
And I suppose that I've given up on boys. There should be more to life... right?
Right now I am so messed up. I need to figure out my life, and get my head on straight (but not too straight right?). I dropped out of college a little while ago. The whole point was that I didn't want to waste my life on something that I wasn't sure about.
So I've been spending the last few weeks/months wasting my life on relationships that I'm not sure about. I enrolled in UCLA, and I start class soon. Now I just need to choose a major (definately not pre med/pre law).
I've been thinking that I might want to go to film school. I really do love old movies, and just movies in general. My dad will probably hate me forever.
I think I'm at the point where I need to start living my life for myself, and not for anyone else.
Noah is pushing for me to commit. He doesn't know how I feel about Jeff. I've been avoiding Noad a lot lately.
I know I am being a jerk. Noah really is a great guy. He deserves better than a boy who only half way cares about him.
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