She paints the walls blue and green (glitterglamgirl) wrote in ethandarling,
She paints the walls blue and green

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I get really profound and melancholy at night, I guess. Not only a rant about Jeff, but one about my dad, too. I'm a little tired to remember even writing that last night.

So Mallory did come home right after I wrote that last entry. And I did ask her if she wanted to go out and do something...which was a big signal to her that something was wrong. Granted, she IS my sister and we DO hang out, but not often. And it's ususally her doing the asking.

She didn't say anything about it until we got in the car. I was sort of vague in explaining about what was wrong with me, mainly because I'm a little unsure of it myself. I told about the fight me and Jeff had and how he had called me last night from the road. I told her that, despite everything, I miss him. A lot. She just nodded quietly...sort of smiling. She's always been able to figure me out so easy.

So we sat listening to the radio and all of a sudden she says "You really like Jeff, huh?" and glanced over at me. I knew what she meant. I got kinda quiet and managed to force out a yes. She smiled...and I spilled and told her everything. I told her Jeff was the first guy I ever really that kind of way. And it was all sort of new and scary for me and as much as we fight sometimes, I still adore the kid. I told her I hate that I miss him. And I told her that I don't know if he feels the same way or not. At this point, she pulled into a parking spot in front of this little coffee shop we go to a lot. She looked at me and told me that it was only natural to feel a little confused with things...but she said to not let it affect me too much. She seemed confident it would all sort itself out. I nodded, hoping that somehow it would.

We went inside, drank some coffee and listened to a little live music...a singer named Essence. I've never really been into female singers, but you know, it worked that night. I needed some mellow music to help me get out of that state I was in last night. I think Mal knew that.

Big sisters are pretty great sometimes.

So, my plans for today...sit around, watch some HBO, and wait for Jeff to call. Hopefully it'll be a happier call than last night.

What a way to spend a perfectly good Saturday, huh?

Skip the remote location of home
A healthier dose of drinks I suppose
Is what everyone needs tonight
It's what everyone needs tonight
If a party gets thrown for reasons we know
The days at work, and nights at home
Then, why not tonight
At least come for a while
A bottle of wine

There's nothing worse than Saturdays alone
Saturdays alone
On top of having Fridays at home
On top of having Fridays at home
Your whole weekend alone
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